Monday, July 9, 2012

Yelling... for No Damn Good Reason.


Moving it from one to two, to even three exclamation points



There have been moments here in Albania that I have found myself exclaiming and doing a touch-down dance* for things completely normal things. Allow me to explain:

Over the winter a national state of emergency was declared in Trapoja, my region of Albania. My pipes froze completely leaving me without water for two months. In an attempt to rectify the problem, my neighbor and I made a small fire under the pipe, using only a lighter and a pizza box. When this didn't work he patted me on the shoulder and said, "Wait for Spring."

As it turned out Spring was two months and 9 feet of snow from the initial attempt to un-freeze my pipes. I would hike to my site mate's house with a backpack full of empty water bottles, fill those water bottles, and then hike back to my place, often times falling directly through the snow, much to the amusement of the gypsy family that lives near that hill. I grew a beard and I made soups out of the available vegetation, such as, potatoes, and rice. I stayed in one room all winter, and watched an impressive Manson-esque beard grow on my face. I left my house only for coffee, more rice and potatoes, and to ensure that I still existed**.

When the day came that a fine trickle of water issued from my faucet again, I lept to my feet dancing and yelling, swearing with joy in both English and Albanian, as if I had beaten the season of Winter itself.

We are on a water schedule where I live, which means that water does not always come out when I turn the tap on. Usually we have water for about 3 to 4 hours a day, but the tricky part is that it can be turned on WHENEVER. Empty water\beer bottles have become my life blood. I have a store of between 10-20 empty bottles at all times***, which I fill religiously whenever I have water. Some of these water bottles will be frozen in the summer months to pack my body in ice in order to sleep. And during the summer months they will be filled with warm water... again to sleep with.

We are also subject to frequent power outages, during which time, we strap on our headlamps and pretend to be SWAT team members****

But there is a moment of distinct unimaginable joy that is absolutely unparalleled by anything that I had experienced in the states, when the power or the water or both, come back on.

More often than I would care to mention, I am moved to ecstasy as I hear the gurgle of water slowly tricking down into my apartment.

Many is the time that I have yelled at a light bulb which is slowly fading in and out saying:

"DON'T YOU DO IT! DON'T YOU GO OUT! YOU WILL NOT GO OUT!" only to be left in pitch black with nothing left to do but to put on my slowly fading headlamp and pretend to raid crack houses, until I'm too tuckered out, and have to go to bed... at 7PM.

The limitless power of having electricity and water at exactly the same time is akin to godliness. Do me a favor, waste some water and power for me, just turn on every light and faucet in your house or apartment. Just do it, and feel incredible.






*Obie or Outer-Critics Award nomination dance for people who work in theatre.
**Natural question: Showering? Answer: No, not at all.
***Peace Corps Rookie mistake: not filling up your water bottles when you have water. You never know when you'll have water again.
**** I may be the only one that does that.

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